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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dailygrant's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, May 21st, 2011
5:27 pm
That Whole Rapture Business

So as I was driving around today, I saw a sign for vacation Bible school. On the sign, it said “This isn’t your Grandma’s Vacation Bible School!” Really? So it has electricity? Because that right there would make a huge difference. But why are churches planning anyway, with the rapture and all? You have to wonder if they were laughing to themselves as they put it up.

“This will be the ultimate red herring!” which somehow works with the love of fish and everything.

But with the rapture. I don’t get it. Who tries to predict the end of the world? First of all, nobody has ever been right, ever. It’s a solid .000 batting average. And what’s the point of being the first guy to get it right?

“Hey, I predicted the Apocalypse, see I told… oh wait everyone is dead.”

But I guess you would get to talk about it in heaven. So congrats on getting to spend eternity talking about God, which will be different from your normal life in exactly zero ways. The rest of us will still be on Earth, doing that thing called “having fun.” Yeah, the whole eternal torture thing is a downer, but the alternative is soooo boring.

If the rapture ever comes, it’ll be interesting to see who gets in on the first round.

“Okay, Pastor Mike made it, and Aunt Sally that’s good. Wait, Mel Gibson ascended? What the H man?”

I tell you what, I’d spend the next 5 months doing nothing but watching The Passion of The Christ and Lethal Weapon just in case there’s a second chance. Everyone gets to go plead their case in front of a tight black v-neck sporting Jesus.

“Why do you think you deserve to go on?”

“Well, I helped an old lady with her groceries once, and I’m kind of a cool guy.”

 “Really, you’re cool? I don’t think you’d know cool if it came down and tried to rapture you.”

At that point, you’d probably think that Jesus is kind of being a dick about the whole thing, which would immediately mean you weren’t ascending. Pretty sure people that call Jesus a dick are batting about .000 when it comes to that sort of thing.

Sunday, March 27th, 2011
4:48 pm
Late Movie Reviews: "The Town"

Dear Ben Affleck,

Congratulations on “The Town.” What a great movie this is. Well acted, well written, well directed. All around, it is just enjoyable to watch. A viewer starts to care about these characters, and feels for them by the end. So, once again Mr. Affleck, bravo.

Here’s the thing.

Can you just stop being in movies? I am not saying that to be mean, but you would be doing everyone a favor. This doesn’t have anything to do with your ability either. You were great in “The Town,” and have shown achievements in acting before in movies like “Hollywoodland.” Even with that, nobody is going to forget just how much they really, really hate you.

Remember “Reindeer Games?” Because I sure do. “Gigli,” “Surviving Christmas,” “Daredevil?” All of those movies have forever burned the thought of you as being a terrible actor in my, and America’s, brains. No matter what it is you do, people aren’t going to forget your terrible, terrible filmography.

Is that fair? An actor like Christopher Walken was in “Kangaroo Jack,” and even the aforementioned “Gigli,” but he gets away free of criticism. Why? Because he is Christopher Fucking Walken. You are Ben “Every Magazine Cover With J.Lo” Affleck. Yeah, that’s right, we haven’t forgot that either.  I know you have moved on to better Jennifer’s since, but I still remember having to put up with all the tabloid nonsense.

So why am I asking you to not make any more attempts at acting? Because it isn’t fair to all the actors in the world that we don’t have any amount of hate for. No matter how great you might be in something, there will be someone else available who we just like better, and can think more happy thoughts about. Feel free to driect them, and hell, write their script. We do remember “Good Will Hunting,” and we like “Good Will Hunting.” Just don’t act.

Sorry if my thoughts are a bit jumbled, but while I was writing this I was watching “Unstoppable.” Thanks for not being in that.

Rating: 3

Rating System:
5 – Invent a time machine to watch this in theatres!
4 – Go find a closing Blockbuster and buy it
3 – Probably should go ahead and make this number 1 on your Netflix Queue.
2 – Keep holding out that Redbox will send you a free rental.
1 – Maybe a friend of a friend has it. You should feel ashamed for asking though.
0 – I’m sure there’s a “How I Met Your Mother” rerun you should be watching.

Thursday, March 17th, 2011
10:00 am
Theatre Review: Avenue Q

Last night I had the opportunity to view some Tony Award winning theatre with "Avenue Q." (Fun fact: In order to win a Tony, you just have to have a show on broadway. They give 'em out like Grammys.) If you aren't familiar with Avenue Q, it's about some low-on their luck people (some are puppets), and they sing about being racist, drinking, and doing it. See, award winning stuff.

Anyway, I don't know how to review theatre. It was entertaining, and probably better than "Hello, Dolly!"

Did you know that it is alright to be a professional fluffer when you are talking about puppets?

I'm just excited for the pirate themed sequel. Avenue aRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And that is what I have.

Wednesday, March 16th, 2011
5:00 pm
Tonight, in honor of Nate Dogg, I will only have 15 in the clip.

Still one in the hole.

Going to Avenue Q tonight. Gonna have my first ever Theatre review! Look at me! I'm snobby! It's hard to type with a monocle!
Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
7:41 pm
Late Movie Reviews: "Buried"

Easiest job in the world? Working on the movie “Buried.”

Cinematographer: “How about we do a close up on Ryan Reynolds for 90 minutes?”

Costume Designer: “I was thinking a shirt… like… a dirty shirt."

Set Designer: “So, there’s this box. Can I have my check now?”

Seriously though, this movie was so outside the box that it never actually went outside the box. It was Ryan Reynolds and a cell phone, and all the people on the other end of the cell phone are the worst people ever. Not quite, but they are frustrating in that you can see people actually reacting that way.

But anyway, this movie was mostly terrifying, and not at all recommended if you even have a friend or relative who is claustrophobic.

Rating: 4

Rating System:
5 – Invent a time machine to watch this in theatres!
4 – Go find a closing Blockbuster and buy it
3 – Probably should go ahead and make this number 1 on your Netflix Queue.
2 – Keep holding out that Redbox will send you a free rental.
1 – Maybe a friend of a friend has it. You should feel ashamed for asking though.
0 – I’m sure there’s a “How I Met Your Mother” rerun you should be watching.

5:32 pm
Late Movie Reviews: "Devil"

“Devil” follows the story of 5 strangers trapped in an elevator and the attempts by building security as well as the police to save them. The 5 strangers begin to become suspect of one another as strange events start occurring in the elevator (lights flickering, someone gets bit), and then they start to get killed off. The police meanwhile are trying to figure out who out of the five of them is the killer, while the religious security guard tells them it is the devil.


The first fatal flaw of this film is that the religious guy is never right. He can’t have a better awareness than anyone else. (People that are more often correct include alien conspiracy theorists, film geeks, autistic children, and Samuel L. Jackson). Now, if the handsome leading man decided it was the Devil doing everything, alright, I’ll take it. Hell, he could even find religion from it and it would be good in my book. But the religious guy having the correct religious answer, that’s the biggest twist in this movie (which says a lot considering it is an M. Night Shyamalan movie).


If you see M. Night Shyamalan’s name attached to anything, it usually is cause for concern. With “Devil” though, there is a definite asterisks. Shlamajama was involved with the initial story, and produced the project, but he was not the director or the officially credited writer. What this means is that the otherwise predictable twist doesn’t piss you off nearly as much.


As for the characters, we never had any reason to care about any of them. Throughout the course of the movie we even learn that they are all pretty bad people. When the Devil starts to pick them off, you feel okay with it. They have it coming. You only feel bad for the Sean Penn looking security guard and the maintenance guy who really didn’t deserve what they got. Well, maybe the Sean Penn looking guy, but only because he looks like Sean Penn.


Overall, Devil is a step in the right direction for Shyamalan, but a step in the wrong direction for suspense movies.


Rating: 2



Rating System:

5 – Invent a time machine to watch this in theatres!

4 – Go find a closing Blockbuster and buy it

3 – Probably should go ahead and make this number 1 on your Netflix Queue.

2 – Keep holding out that Redbox will send you a free rental.

1 – Maybe a friend of a friend has it. You should feel ashamed for asking though.

0 – I’m sure there’s a “How I Met Your Mother” rerun you should be watching.

Monday, March 7th, 2011
10:22 pm
And It's Confirmed: Boring!
I went to my nephew's confirmation this evening. I think I just set a record for Pearsons attending catholic mass as I have done it twice so far this year. But, more importanty some notes:

First off churches, two words for ya: Stadium Seating. Did you see what happened in the church today? No, because I was more than two rows back.

I'm surprised that none of the kids chose the most popular saint: Drew Brees

If you go up front for snack time, it would be nice to bring back something for those of us who don't want to make the trip.

I don't know if I can trust churces, they seem so capitalistic. It's all about the prophets with them.

And I'm out.
Sunday, March 6th, 2011
10:22 pm
Down By 9
I’ve been on a diet for a couple of months now. I finally realized that a job that requires no actual movement isn’t offering me the same health benefits as I was used to. So for this diet, I pretty much had to cut back or cut out on every food that I have ever liked. My lunches are now sandwiches and fruit. Nothing gets you through your work day like 10 calories worth of peaches.

But back to the foods I love. I love pizza. Why? Because it is delicious. If you had to ask, then you don’t deserve to know. I was complaining about how much I love pizza, and how I can’t have any to my dietician. Yeah, I’ve got a dietician, there’s perks to working in retail. Make that perk. I’ll come up with something else later. I was talking to her though about how much I wanted to have pizza for lunch, and she said that I could go ahead and have a slice. Really? One slice of pizza? Thanks for allowing me that. I’m 6 foot, 2coughcough pounds, and she is telling me to work the next 6 hours off of one slice of pizza? I’m not in second grade anymore, one slice doesn’t cut it. She suggested a side then. Really, you know what’s a good side for a slice of pizza? Another slice of pizza. Even any “real sides” are just deconstructed pieces of pizza. “Here’s a breadstick, we put some cheese on it, and we are giving you marinara to dip it in.” It’s like when you go to taco bell and the only side item available is a slightly smaller version of the taco you just ordered.

I'm also realizing that copying from word and pasting into LJ doesn't work as smoothly as I hoped. Work on that later.
12:33 pm
You Only Move Twice
It's been a year, but I am at a point where I want to start using this thing again. Facebook keeps trying to update itself to be hipper, despite the fact that everything was working perfectly before. Twitter is... 140 characters. It's the facebook for people who want everything to be more difficult. And MySpace is, as Seth Meyers put it, the abandoned amusement park of the internet. So, I'm back to LiveJournal, where I started all those years ago. I went back and read some of my old updates, realizing they were all just links to onionarmada.com, which doesn't exist anymore.
My goal with LiveJournal is to post about the things I enjoy, and keep it only for that purpose. I am afraid that I will occasionally throw in a post about something terrible in life, but if I do that, I promise to follow it up with a post about which Something Corporate album is better (or if that idea has been used, something of the equivalent).
Gonna get this thing going later today.
Or I'll remember I have this thing again in March of next year.
We'll see.
Thursday, March 25th, 2010
7:05 pm
My Lucky Day
I hired someone today, so that's a first.

Watch him be the first person to get fired for stealing or something lame like that.

Hey, how are you anyway?
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
6:26 pm
Journal: Some Kind Of Nature
I'm not leaving radio. That's important for me to remember. I still will work there, but only on a minimal basis. The door is also open in case something does come up.

But with that in mind, it is hard to leave it. For all purposes, my radio career is done now. What sucks is that I think I was actually getting kind of good at it. Not perfect, not amazing, but good. I actually had listeners who enjoyed it when I was on the air. Most people claim to not even like being around me for 10 minutes, but these people actually listened to me enough that they would comment on what was happening. Not a ton of them, but when you are only connecting with your listeners via facebook, any number is good. I mean really, if you have a song request, and you have to facebook it, it's not even worth it. That's another story. I'm rambling.

I am going to miss the music. Yes, radio is evil and doesn't play anything but Nickelback, whatever. There was actually good music in there, you just have to actually give it a chance. My station had the luxury of being able to go outside the mold here and there. It was nice.

I am going to miss the people. Radio people are a different breed, especially at the network level where you really have no interaction with listeners. It's a matter of entertaining yourself for 5 hours, and hoping other people like it. What I am trying to say is that most of them were crazy in a special, special way. Plus I had one of the best boss's I've ever had anywhere, and probably ever will have.

I am going to miss the routine. I am a planner, and I am moving into a job where I am going to be thrown all over. Radio I could plan. I knew what was going to happen.

Anyway, I'm done now. This is my (possibly temporary, but probably not) goodbye to radio. And too everyone who has put up with my weird hours, and constant need for gratification (none of whom have a livejournal, or even know I have this one), thank you.

Now I am going to go drink.
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
10:03 am
Radio - Done March 6th.
Hy-Vee - Back to full time on March 8th.

You would think giving up my dream would be a lot more devastating. It'll hit me later.
Thursday, February 18th, 2010
3:57 pm
Wait a Second...
Is LiveJournal seriously trying to be Google with that Olympic imagery around the logo?

That is all.
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010
6:07 pm
Journal: You're Allergic to Dancing?
A quick update for February:

It looks like it will be Hy-Vee, and at the end of March I will be abandoning radio for, well, probably forever. Sad to think about.
The positives: Stable job, steady pay, and room to move forward. I will also be staying in Omaha, which I like. I have great friends here, and I am close to another group of great people in Lincoln.
The negatives: I love radio. I like the freedom, the creativity, and the fact that it isn't a job that anyone can do. It makes me a unique snowflake. Plus Colorado was pretty awesome for the 4 days I was there, and I honestly wouldn't mind living there.

So that is where I am at.

But better than all of that? I watched "Can't Hardly Wait" the other day. That is honestly a fun movie.

That's my story.
Friday, January 29th, 2010
9:20 pm
Journal: End Apple Time
So, the format I started writing these journals in has slowly slipped away. That is alright though, as long as I am writing.

And I am.

Have a few new songs in their infancy. I'm actually writing on bass, which is just easier for me. There are better people out there at guitar, and as long as I have the basic idea down, we can figure out where to go. Now I just need a rehearsal space, and 3 band members in the same city. Hmm.

Also, I just had an apple. It was very good. I highly suggest you seek out an apple and eat it immediately. Your life will be better.

So, a study was conducted showing which proffesions were most often involved in car accidents. Topping the list were students, followed by medical doctors and attorneys. Surprisingly absent was professional golfer.

In a recent poll, 79 percent of people thought women could lead a happy life while being single, whereas only 67 percent of men would be happy. Obviously 33 percent of people don't understand men.

Happy Birthday to Tom Selleck, turning 65, and his moustache which turns 73.
Thursday, January 21st, 2010
9:56 pm
1-21-09: Inspiration
I am running out of things in my life to post about. Scary...

So the computer situation is fixed now, and all it cost me was my soul. And a large amount of money. I can't wait for it to become infected again in 31 days.

For some odd reason, my body is not on fire today even though I ran. Perhaps I am getting into better shape than previously thought?

I started writing a new song. It's a take on one of my favorite short films. Who knew I could do concept pieces. Who wants to be in my band?

It has been announced that March 1st is the official return date for Jay Leno as host of the Tonight Show. However, if ratings don’t improve, they have announced the next in line, starting with Jimmy Fallon, and then one of the Avatars, and then The Situation from Jersey Shore.

Ever take one of those craps where afterward you realize you could have a successful run as a drug mule? (Not airable)
Monday, January 18th, 2010
9:12 pm
1-18-10: Quickie
The Bad:
My computer is undergoing some sort of plague right now. Usually I can work and get rid of the various viruses and whatnot, but this time, it won't have any of it.
Best scenario is I spend a lot of money and get someone to fix it. Worst scenario is I have to start over from scratch. Not a fan of worst scenario.

At least I have a cat on me.
Thursday, January 14th, 2010
11:11 pm
Journal: A Plea to NBC
So this whole Conan/Leno debacle has gotten to a ridiculous point. Getting into the whole story just seems like a waste at this point, but it seems fair to say everyone is pissed off, and the only person happy about it is David Letterman. The affiliates were pissed first at the idea of their news being after Leno, and then Leno got pissed at being cancelled, and then Conan got pissed at the idea of being pushed back. Now the executives are pissed because Conan has turned his show into one hour informercial selling us on the faults of NBC.
On top of the late night troubles, they are routinely in fourth place with the rest of their primetime programming

There is only one question though, and that is this: What can NBC do to fix this whole thing? Simple.

Hire me to run programming.

What credentials do I have as a television executive? None. What sales experience do I have? Same. How many shows have I developed? My answer won't change from the first two questions.

What I do have though is a love of television. I watch it, I understand it, and I get it. People's lives are influenced by television, their best moments are shaped around television. I mean, we created the DVR because there was so much television on at once that we couldn't miss. Hell, all other technology is about television anymore. Hulu on the computer, downloads on gaming systems, and half of the artists you hear on the radio nowadays are from American Idol.

I'm not going to drag on now, since I doubt my readership of 4 is going to forward this on to the appropriate people, but I just want to say that some guy from Nebraska probably gets it more than the guys who get paid millions every year to lose millions for others.


Joke (Not to be used in conjunction with my letter):
NBC announced it's new schedule for after the Olympics, with new shows like Parenthood and The Marriage Ref. Notably missing though is the Biggest Loser spinoff, "The Jay Leno Show."
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
9:56 pm
1-13-10: Clever Title
Continuing to work out. I think I might actually have a muscle somewhere. Yeah, I know, right? Normally at Hy-Vee we have a beginning of the year fitness thing we take part in, but I am opting out this year. I'm seeing if I can do it without any motivation. The way I see it, if it had worked before, I wouldn't be in it for a third year.

Still no word on either job. I am working both, and that's about it. I think as each day goes by, I am getting much better at each one though. I definitely didn't grow for a period of time, but now I am feeling better when I get to each place.

Which that reminds me, when you have a kid, and they get old enough to work, make sure they are responsible enough to work. They need to run their own schedule. Don't ask for days off for them. If they can't handle it, then they can wait to get a job. Stupid parents sometimes.

CareerCast.com released a list of the worst jobs for 2010, taking into account working conditions, competitiveness, and physical exertion. Included on this list are Mail Carrier, Meter Reader, Garbage Collector, and host of the Tonight Show.
Monday, January 11th, 2010
11:22 pm
Journal: Two Infinities
1-11-10: Too Many Ones

The Gist Of It:
Nothing too new to report. Still trying to figure out the job thing. Nobody is saying anything right now at either place, which leads me to believe that both will fall through. That's just the optimist in me though.

I've been actually working out recently. Like, a set amount of push ups, sit ups, time on the treadmill, and weight machines. Know how everyone is always like "Man, I feel so good now that I'm exercising?" Well, that's true, except for my legs that could easily be one of the greatest pains ever. Flat and wide feet don't work for running I guess.

Still haven't seen my nephew. 5 months now.

Sarah Palin signed on to appear on FOX news as a contributor. Her first segment is set to air halfway through soon.
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